Beauty from my Childhood.

Digging up a horde of once-loved products in the depths of my beauty stash during my attempt at spring cleaning my room yesterday prompted a swift trip down memory lane. Won't you join me as I reminisce about the terrible choices that I made when it came to what I put on my face to go out in public? Fellow 90's babies surely can relate (even if you won't admit it).

There's one word that springs to mind when I think back to my 12/13 year-old beauty regime. That word would (unfortunately) be glitter.. ALL THE GLITTER. I was all about that detergent smelling roll-on body glitter, tracing that shit over all of the upper body parts I could reach, then topping it all off with a giant powder poof full of shimmery body dust. Yeah..IN MY DEFENCE, the roll-on glitter was so disgustingly sticky, I needed a dusting of something over the top and there was no way in hell I could go out without looking like a disco ball.

But wait! We're not done here, oh no! Even though I was sparklier than the human retina could handle, along came Dazzle Dust. Do ya'll remember Dazzle Dust?! Oh man! They were loose shimmer eye shadows that were impossible to apply, and I remember practically throwing them at my eyelids then trying to remove the glitter from down my face. That's when I discovered Maybelline's Dream Matte Mousse - every 90s girl's go-to foundation. It would cover up the glitter landslide coming from my eyes almost perfectly, and I would paint it on with one of those crappy circular foam applicator pads (what is hygiene/contamination/washing your sponges) that STILL come with everything.

I think my dislike towards liquid liner stems from the traumatic period in which my 15 year-old self first discovered such a thing. Of course, I couldn't just go with old faithful black, oh no, my very first experience with liquid eye liner was a pot from AVON, and it was blue. And I don't mean the subtle, blended in blue, I mean bright, neon sign blue. Yup, that liner in the picture up there happens to be the very one. Obvious choice, past me. I remember my very first application so well, because I put it on my lower waterline. HAVE YOU EVER PUT LIQUID LINER ON YOUR LOWER EYE?! It bleeds in to your God damn eyes, turning the whites whatever colour you're trying to line them with. It's terrifying. So here I am, crying blue tears because I'm convinced my whole eye is going to be bright blue for the rest of my life. Despite that day, I tried. I really, really tried. For about two months, I'd glide that shit over my (upper) eyelids and go to school with wobbly, gappy, uneven, blue top, black bottom eyes. Horrendous.

Up until the age of about 17, I believed will all my being that lipstick was for old ladies (BLASPHEMY!), so I stuck to gunky lip glosses in my day, and a lot of it. I really mean a lot. The cheaper and nastier the stuff, the better apparently. I also bought myself a new tube of 60c Lip Smacker every two weeks without fail, and I used them religiously, even though I knew I'd lick it right off within 5 minutes because they all smelled and tasted amazing. I'm not even mad about this one though, I honestly would never hate on Lip Smackers. Ever. Truthfully, I still have a tube or two in my stash that I use regularly - they're fucking fantastic.

Can we talk about Impulse for a second? Because I feel a post about childhood beauty really isn't the same without mention of Impulse body sprays, amirite? Yup, like you, my scent of choice ranged between various cans of Impulse that I'd spray all over myself between every single class. That's a spray every hour, and let me tell you: too much of a good thing really IS a thing. I thought I was so very grown up when I started using what I thought of as perfume. It was Chi Chi's shimmering body mist in Watermelon and it was delicious! I still have a tiny bit left in the cheapo plastic bottle that I've been saving because I love it so much. I'm not even embarrassed to admit that I will be repurchasing this baby when I finally use it all up (Chi Chi have since updated the bottle to look less cheap and more perfume-y).

There you have it: the "beauty" of my childhood!

I just have to include some (dis)honourable mentions here:

• Claggy hair mascara
• Maybelline's Wet Shine nail polish
• Mechanical braider machines that would tangle your hair like no one's business
• Coloured hair spray
• Anything that came from Sabrina's Secrets (My God do you remember Sabrina's Secrets?! Yas!)

Oh past me.. I have no words.